What Recovering from Giving Birth is REALLY Like
77You want to be able to enjoy every moment, but you are just so tired, and sore, and...
False Expectations
Often, when pregnancy begins we are full of excitement and joy. We welcome the miserable symptoms of nausea or constipation because they mean there is a baby inside us and we are thrilled at the thought. But slowly this view begins to change, and by those last 4 weeks of pregnancy all we can think about is getting that baby out of us. I remember thinking, "I don't care how bad it hurts, I just don't want to be pregnant for one more day!" I reminisced about the energy I used to have, and how easily I was able to do simple things like getting up off the couch, or putting my shoes on. I told my husband over and over, "I can't wait to have this baby so I can feel like myself again, I am so tired of being uncomfortable and exhausted all the time." I firmly believed I would go in to the hospital a miserably huge pregnant person and come out a happy, energetic, non-pregnant person. In fact, I have known many woman who thought this way. We believed that as soon as we got this baby out, we would feel as great as we did before we ever got pregnant. We were in for a huge disappointment.
This is one of the few photos of me with my newborn where my eyes are actually open.
The Truth
Giving birth is an extremely traumatic experience for a woman's body. Labor, alone, is equivalent to running a marathon. Then add in the stretching, and tearing, along with the amount of blood lost. Any person experiencing this type of trauma would normally be expected to stay in bed resting for days. However, a new mom is experiencing such little sleep during those first few weeks it is a wonder she is even able to function on a basic level, much less recover from such a taxing experience.
Expecting moms, please understand that walking, sitting, and even cleaning off after using the bathroom are going to feel more like a chore then a normal part of everyday life for at least a week or two postpartum. Also, go ahead and accept the fact that, no matter how interrupted your sleep is now from frequent bathroom breaks, Braxton Hicks, baby hiccuping, or just the need to heave your body into a more comfortable position, it is nothing compared to how interrupted it will be once that baby is born.
It is normal to feel exhausted, sore, overwhelmed, forgetful, disorganized, incompetent, emotional, moody, and a nonresponsive participant in most conversations. Don't get down on yourself. Also, don't give up hope that you will make it back to that fun, lovable person you once knew.
A year later...
The Happy Ending
The GREAT news is it doesn't take a year to feel like yourself again. After about four to six weeks your little one will start sleeping longer stretches. First you will notice during they day they are going three hours or so between feedings. Then, at night they will make it four to five hours at a time. It is amazing how good four straight hours of sleep feels when you are used to only two or less. It is around this time you finally start to fully recover from all your body has been through since your baby was conceived. For me, by eight weeks I was feeling really good and by 3 months I was GREAT.
The best advice I was ever given is, "Don't expect too much from yourself the first couple months after having a baby." Give yourself credit for what you have been through. Appreciate your body for how amazing it is. Make sure when your baby is awake you are enjoying him, and once he is asleep, limit the amount of work you allow yourself to do to make sure you get rest in also.
In most of the pictures taken the first six weeks of my son's life I look a little dishevelled and tired. However, anyone looking at those pictures can see how truely happy I am. Motherhood is an amazing journey. It starts off a little rocky, but that doesn't mean it can't be enjoyable too.
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Great work, enjoyed reading and I agree. Pregnancy and giving birth was quite difficult for me and yes, very little sleep for few months. Finally, there is joy and the days are full of entertainment and a bit tiring too...
im TERRIFIED my mum and dad diided they were going to abandon me and my babys father has deccided he isnt ready and im on my own and im 9 flippin months pregnant , ABOUT TO POP ! and im just going to fail as a mother why did i do it ? im only 17
@Lady Rain and Ruchi, thanks. Children are a lot of work, but they are so worth it.
@Chrissie I know it seems scary right now, but the fact that you are even worried means you are going to be a good mom. There are a ton of programs out there to help teen mom's, do a little research and find one that fits you. Once the baby comes just take it one day at a time and before you know it you will be looking back at this with pride and satisfaction that you made it through. Good Luck!
Family's are amazing!! Never easy, but always worth it.
With my first child, she was up every two hours for the first four months. She didn't sleep through the night till about ten months. That was the best night EVER! Lol thank you for sharing this. It was wonderful.
Momstalk my 2nd child didn't sleep through the night until almost a year. My pediatrition said that was more normal then we realize. Luckily my other 2 figured it out much ealier. There is nothing like a good nights rest!
It's funny how everyone always tells you how great having a baby is, but they always leave out the feeling miserable part after the birth! I've been through it five times. It got easier after each birth, but man what a toll giving birth takes on the body! Thanks for sharing. Great hub, and I love your sweet pictures! What a cutie!
helmut, so true. I wrote this hub because I have several friends who just had their 1st baby, each one called me about a week after and asked if it is normal to feel this way. I just want woman to know it is normal and it does get better. Thanks for reading.
What a wonderful, honest article. Voted up and awesome!
Good advice, I remember vividly those days before I gave birth. How much change takes place with the arrival of a little 7lb baby!!! It's unbelievable. Congrats on your HubNugget nomination!
This is great information - I too expected everything to be perfect after giving birth. Congratulations o your HubNugget nomination.
I wish I understood before I had my first child (almost 20 years ago) that it took time to bounce back to normal after giving birth. Although, I would recommend resting up now for those teenage years to come! Terrific hub and you have my vote for hubnugget!
Simone thanks for the vote up.
Oftheheart, it is amazing how someone so tiny can completely flip your life upside down. Good thing they are so cute and sweet that we don't really mind.
Millionaire, Thanks for reading, I think it is important to let woman know what is normal.
Ktrapp, thanks for the advice, I am already worried about those teen years. With 3 kids, I am sure they will give me great material for more hubs. Thanks for your vote!
I'm so sorry you had this type of experience. I had two home births and I walked away energetically from both of them. I also had a c-section with twins and the recovery was absolutely horrible. Isn't it nice to share your personal experience in this type of venue? Congrats on your nomination!
frugalfamily, I am glad to hear you had such wonderful experiences. I have heard delivering at home or in a birthing center creates a completely different experience then in a hospital. Thanks for reading.
Courageous Hub. Great you got it all in perspective and were able to put it down in a Hub objectively.
Funny how after a while you can't remember what it was all like, till someone reminds you like this.
It was very very hard and in fact I got post natal depression after 10 weeks.
Good luck with your nomination.
a very very useful hub with the facts which often woman suffer but unfortunately there is no word of rest after giving birth to a baby.Life is ful of responsibilities. thanks for sharing.
So true! I remember those first few weeks and it was a little crazy. Then add to it that in the US you only get six weeks off of work and then are expected to juggle all of your job duties in addition to the new baby stuff. It all is worth it in the end though. You look back and wonder how you were ever able to do it but Mothers are amazing beings. Thanks for the great hub and I will be forwarding this on to my sister in law who is expecting her first baby at the end of February.
Wonderful hub. I voted it everything and Up. I always felt a little in shock after each (3) birth. It was very traumatic each time. I had the first 2 naturally, the 3rd was an emergency c-section. And because there is a few years between each child, a lot of the doctor's orders were different with each of them. Things such as if you can have caffeine or not. I say just use your own instincts.
It amazes me how much demand other people put on new moms. Even other moms. My in-laws demanded we bring the new baby over to a dinner party when he was just 2 days old. Now days, I would have firmly said, "Hell, no!"
Thanks for writing this, new moms need practical advice.
Good advice KT! Follow your own instincts..that's why you have them:)
Goodlady, thanks. Recovering is hard enough without adding in all the hormone imbalances. I had a good friend who also dealt with postpartum depression. It is amazing the things we go through for these little ones.
asmaif, Thanks for reading my hub. I do feel no one talks about what to expect immediately after giving birth. It is very overwhelming.
Cardelean, Thanks for sharing this hub. Mothers are amazing! It is definately a learning process and eventually we learn not to sweat the small stuff.
KT, Thank you for the votes. Shock is a really good word to describe my state of mind after each child. I also have 3. Also, I know what you mean about demands. And when you are a new mom you feel obligated. As we gain experience we learn it is better to say no in the interest of your child then to make inlaws or friends happy. Live and learn.
Great hub! Much needed info for new mom's. We are our worse enemies, we thought we were the world's FIRST super mom.. Without sleep no less!
No matter what's said to a mom-to-be, we just do the 'get it'!
I had 2 c-sections, 1st being an. emergency-I was so hard headed that within 2 hrs I was mopping the kitchen floor, until my files caught me, and raised he'll w/his son. I was just sure my new baby needed a spotless house, until lack of sleep made me not care so much!!
Voted everything and up! Loved this hub!!!!
Barbara, thanks. So true, we are our own worst enemies. We expect so much of ourselves. It is actually a relief to reach the point where we realize it is more important to rest then to have a spotless house.
Thanks for the votes!
I don't have a child...yet, but I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the process if/when I get pregnant. It is intimidating to think about! Thanks for putting the sleepless nights into perspective though. Voted up!
I was given some really good advice when I had my first of 3 children. Rest and do what the doctor says for the first 6 weeks and you'll recover in that time. Don't follow his advice and it could take you six months! Helpful subject and good luck. It is the most wonderful frustrating experience in life - raising kids!
Melissa, thanks for the vote. I'd say having a baby is a good thing to read up on before you are actually there just so you know what to expect. So much happens in those 9 months and they are just the beginning.
Kathleen, that is really good advice. Also, I am learning that raising children in indeed wonderful and frustrating. Each child is so different, it makes life fun and more complicated at the same time.
Congrats on HOTD! Well put!
Those days are far behind me--my youngest GRANDchild will be 4 in May.
However, I have not forgotten, and wow--lack of sleep? Oh, man. My first was up for feeding every hour and a half around the clock for her 1st 3 months of life--both her father and I had permanend dark circles under our eyes, as we had to resort to taking turns with the feedings. (She was a 'spitter,' and half of what she took in would bounce back out when she burped--I learned to burp her with my back to the kitchen sink!)
I had no choice but to cat-nap when she napped, for she was a horribly light sleeper.
The second child? Total opposite. Slept through the night by 2 months; ate normally, and slept so soundly I could run the vacuum right under her crib!
It's an adventure, all right! And grandkids? I love 'em--you can give them back! ;-)
Voted up, interesting and useful.
Congrats in the hub of the day! You have written a very good and honest hub. I slept very little the first nine months after giving birth to my first child. Then I was already pregnant with my second child. Anyhow, giving birth to my children is the best thing that has ever happened to me. :)
Congrats on Hub of the day! I've been there too. I have three...I can so relate to this Hub. The awful morning sickness felt like I was going to die already, the discomfort and insomnia during the last term, sleepless nights after birth, postpartum depression...motherhood is truly traumatic...but the little one's sweet smile will make it all worth it! ?
What a beautiful baby and Mom :) This is an awesome hub.
Mothering a child with all the excruciating labor pains is definitely not easy by the looks of it all, and thank god I'm a man, yikes.
Well ladies I commend you all for being able to go through such harsh conditions internally, and to be able to live to tell such a rough story of survival, lol.
This hub was awesome to me, because you held no punches back, and went hard at pointing out the truest difficulties in the baby berthing department.
I commend you @ meganlsmith3 for staying the mommy course, and for also being so informative as to share such a up close and personal life story such as the birth of your daughter, plus the cool mothering tips towards the very end.
This hub truly deserved the hubnugget award, and to be hub of the day, I only found one minor typo, but overall I loved it entirely.
Awesome job & Pinned Up, voted Up, and getting shared everywhere I can share it. Nice!
I think having babies is beautiful. This is a wonderful hub. :)
Congratulations on Hub of the Day and on having such a beautiful baby. I had three and everyone told me that my pregnancies were easy on the first two. No morning sickness, my husband got that. You mentioned that by the 8th month, you just wanted that baby out of there. My first one went 2 weeks over. I was ready to have them rip him out. He was 9 lbs and 21". I got out of the hospital and was ready to go. I felt so good. Then he slept all night at 2 weeks. I was so lucky with him. The others just got worse.
My baby is going to be 40 in about 12 weeks. Reading this brought back the memories of those days after she arrived on the planet... I was blessed. She was an amazing baby. But, there were tough days...Mommie had some physcial issues to dieal with, a few infections and all, but I muddled through. One of the worst parts was not after her birth but before...all of the scary stories that I was told about the complications of delivery...o my... I know they were well intended. Thank you for sharing this...it is important to know not to expect too much of yourself the first few months and to rest when baby does as much as poosible.
You are amazing and I am so jealous! Jealous of the non sleep and all the discomfort that comes with having a child. I will never experience it but am no longer saddened by it. Great article.
Have a wonderful day and welcome to Hubpages!
What a great article! I remember the vast disappointment that came with having to put the maternity jeans back on AFTER the baby was born. I remember the first time I drove to the mall (by myself) with my first-born to meet a friend - he was six weeks old and it felt like a huge undertaking. Those first six weeks are definitely disorienting and your body is still healing - along with the lack of sleep and nursing struggles. Now my "big" kid is six years old and in kindergarten full time - the days are long but the years are short!
I never thought of it that way. But I am glad that you shared that with me. Now I kinda know what to expect when my future wife goes through that process.
congradulations. my wife and i had a baby girl on feb. 12th , so i'm watching what you're talking about as my wife recovers.i'll say one thing. i'm glad i'm a guy.
What a fantastic hub! Truthful and hopeful at the same time. I love how much respect you have for the process of giving birth and your body as it recovers.
Congrats on getting the hub of the day award! Wow this was a great hub with fantastic pictures. Looking forward to reading more of your hubs!
Congrats on winning 'hub of the day'. I really big on issues about motherhood and parenting, even if I'm not a parent myself....
Q: Is it true that women in Western cultures (such as USA) spend more time recuperating after giving birth than say in places like Africa, Asia, and even rural part os S. America?
Great hub - keep up the good work
John
Thanks for sharing the truth and your personal experience. I wrote a hub about the trials and tribulations with child birth too. There are many things people simply do not tell you about.
Great hub! I appreciate your honesty. I think we are expected, as moms, to be prepared to roll with the punches of labor recovery and motherhood. I felt very incompetent at first. Everyone tells you how bad the lack of sleep will be with a baby, but man, I had NO IDEA!!! Voted up and useful!
Great hub. My son just recently turned two. And this is all very, very true. Before I had my son I had no idea about everything that would happen after he was born, the being sore and barely being able to go to the bathroom. Great idea to write this so people can know the truth!
Labour can definitely feel like a marathon. It seems justified in that we think of it as giving birth, the beginning, and motherhood. However, as you had mentioned, in any similar circumstance, we would consider the experience to be far from enlightening. Actually, traumatic with symptoms after the labour.
Thanks for writing this wonderful hub. Its important to accept the ordeal and ask for help. We also have to watch out for depression afterwards. Thanks again for writing a wonderful hub. Voted up up and away.
Great hub! I can so relate to how you felt after having the baby. It was indeed a chore to get anything done after having both my boys. Thanks for sharing an honest account of how a mother can feel after birth! Congrats on your hub of the day - voted up and will be tweeting!
Super hub!
Some mothers do not share all feelings and experiences of pregnancy and delivery because they are afraid of been looked upon as abnormal or unloving. I went through my first pregnancy without physical complications, but the labor was traumatic to the point that I was angry at the baby and my husband. I blamed them. I did not want the baby and I swore before the medical team and the world that I would NEVER let this happen to me again.
One look at my son changed everything I said and thought I felt. Every negative thought disappeared forever. We had three more children, and I went through the same ritual of hating, blaming, and promising.
What is the thing that makes a mother forget all of the impossible discomforts and pain of carrying and deliverying? I think it is LOVE and the miracle, along with a patient, understanding, and loving husband.
This is a great read! I am expecting my second in June. My oldest will be 11 in Juy. I am in denial about how it was the first time. For some reason my brain has convinced me that it wasn't that bad (giving birth). Self soothing perhaps? lol
Its certainly going to be a different experience at 40, than it was at 30 but it's something I approach with confidence, knowing the reward out-weighs the pain. Loved the hub :)
WOW! I feel honored to have an article chosen as Hub of the Day! Thank you everyone for reading my article and for all the supportive comments. Thank you for all the personal stories and words of wisdom you have shared.
The reason I wrote this hub is because, as many of you have said, woman worry if they admit out loud that this is hard and taxing they might be judged. As a result, first time moms often get blindsided by the recovery process. They expect too much and feel frustrated with themselves and the situation when they can't do it all. I love being a mom more then anything, infact we are expecting our 4th baby in Oct. The joys of motherhood far outweigh the pain and exhaustion of bringing that little one into the world.
Thanks again for reading and sharing. I am greatful for this award.
I love the honesty. Thank you for sharing your story! Awesome. Voted up! :)
Megan thanks for the reminder. I had my third baby and frankly I have been very tired at the end of the pregnancy and post-partum was in the ER!
I couldn't walk. I used to wake up at 5 to put my son on the bus to go to school and go through flights of stairs all day... I could squat before delivery, I could do sit ups the day after... but exposition to the June sun and walking to shop one day got the best of me.
I will definitely advise to anybody to try to have their pregnancy in a fit environment, to eat healthy, to exercise reasonably and get plenty of help after giving birth. My baby is 8 months and having a very busy hubby and limited funds, I had to push a lot on myself to get everything done, result: I am still in pain in many places (backs, stomach, feet, joints...)
In general, we just need to remember that the human bodymind is a whole that needs to be handle kindly, so it can function the best and last in a decent state!!!LOL
A hug to all pregnant ladies and new moms, take care of yourself.
Blessings on that wonderful bundle of joy. Love and peace to all.
The title says it all! You can read all the parenting books in the world and attend the classes, talk to your mom and your friends, but in most cases people won't tell you what recovering from giving birth is really like. Maybe if they did, fewer of us would have children... LOL!
I love your personal story and photographs, and mostly the honesty. Congratulations on Hub of the Day! Well deserved. Cheers, Steph
Thank you for your honesty...I get sick of those TV images of post-labor women running around with ample energy and perfect waistlines. Are they trying to make us all feel inadequate?! You and baby are both beautiful!
That is so true! It does start off rocky but if you hang in there you'll find your place!
Very, very nice photos of you and the baby. Love being a mom, the best thing in the world by a long way. My first labor was 12 hours culminating in an emergency c-section. But, everything worked out in the end and I was one of the lucky ones as my recovery time was short. Congratulations :)
It's a great topic! I know my female cousins would agree. I was different, the only thing that proved I was pregnant was my size, otherwise nothing changed for me, and my girl only woke once during the night to get a bottle, it was almost easier being pregnant than I'd ever heard, but I know how rarely that happens, and it's great that you share this knowledge with others!
It is so nice to hear from other moms that we don't have to try to be super moms! Both my girls started sleeping through the night early which helped a lot. But it's also amazing how different having a hospital birth versus using a midwife was. If at all possible I highly recommend going with a midwife. Yeah I still felt exhausted, but the recovery seemed faster and they didn't try to pump me full of drugs.
Congratulations on your Hub of the Day. Wow, a hubnugget nomination and a Hub of the Day! Super!
Menagerie I totally agree with you. Hollywood's image is so different from reality that it is sickening.
Joy, you are not the first to tell me that delivering with a midwife was so much easier, recovery wise, then in a hospital. I definately need to look into that. Thanks.
NiaLee, Steph, arusho, ciran, and millionaire thank you for your support. I feel honored to have recieved this award.
ssmeford, I am glad to hear that your pregnancy and recovery went so smoothly. I'm just a little bit jealous. :)
Thanks to everyone for your comments and support. This is truely an honor.
Honest look at childbirth and what most women go through. It does vary a little. With my first, she was a preemie and my recovery time was much quicker because she was so small. Second baby was like an entirely different experience, but definitely worth it. Congrats on hub of the day, too.
This is an honest story of recovering after giving birth. Although it is a very long time ago now for me, it took a long time to recover after giving birth. It was a lot of pain, hard work and lack of sleep. But it is worth it! Congratulation on the hub of the day!
I was a little scared reading this... even having been there and done that I am now on number 2 and have about 7/8 weeks left! I am not nervous about the birth yet as I know what to expect (just about!) but I am completely over this pregnancy and as much as I know it will be hard giving birth I know the real test is having to look after a baby!! But your piece has enlightened me, and not scared me as much as I thought it might! My biggest fear now, is that hubby thinks I will be able to do more for him around the office (at home) now that I will not be working!!! Ha!
Wow! Great hub, although I have to say a little scary! My husband and I are trying for our first, and I keep hearing horror stories. All with happy endings, but still...I guess it's good to know what to expect!
I completely agree with what you have shared, and it brought back memories. I would also like to add that another aspect of what can happen for some, as with me, are some mild 'baby blues'. I had some crying spells simply because I missed the close connection I had to my son being physically connected to me when inside. I did not have postpartum depression, but did experience that emotional loss nonetheless. I just want to say that it can be a perfectly normal part of the recovery.
Becoming a mum is still ahead of me, so I found this hub very interesting reading! I totally enjoyed it and wouldn't mind if the hub was even longer :)))
Great hub, voted up and useful. If you are a pre planner type of person. Making some meals and freezing them can be a great time saver that comes in handy after the birth of the newborn.
Wow you discribed me to a tea!!its amazing and real fun to see someone write exacly how i feel...My pregnancy was wonderfull but the first 6 weeks was real hard to adjust to my new life with my husband and son..but now life is wonderfull it took me about 3 months...
I can relate to just about all of these things! I thought going to the bathroom would be easier once my daughter was born, but I was WRONG. Plus, the waddling got much worse, since I was so sore and I could barely sit or stand or anything. Great Hub! Voted up!
if your baby was born in the natural way, is it painful the first times you go to the bathroom to pee? :S
Patricia, the reason using the bathroom hurts is because most woman tear down there during delivery. They have to be stitched back together. The actually peeing doesn't hurt, it is the wiping off afterward that is uncomfortable. This happens with or without an epidural. However, I have heard several woman say that not having an epidural makes recovery easier.
lady rain Level 4 Commenter 6 months ago
This is a wonderful hub. You are looking just as beautiful and happy as your baby. I am so happy for you.